Dear Sir with the Obnoxious Christmas Decorations,

You really out did yourself this year. I didn’t think that it was possible to wrap 7 million flashing Christmas lights around a house. That has to be some type of world record. I also liked the way that you managed to suspend a 30 foot gold neon lit santa sleigh above your roof. But probably, my favorite was the army of snowmen marching to the beat of Black Sabath. Let me tell you, nothing lulls me to sleep like a little death metal.

Your house was certainly the hit of the season. I know everyone was talking about how you actually managed to drain the entire city of Cleveland of all its power. That is quite an accomplishment.

Well anyway, I know that this is your one moment in life to shine, but I just wanted to remind you that Christmas is over. So if you could just please take down your decorations, I would greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Your Neighbor

P.S.

I found one of your reindeer digging through my trash, so I shot and killed it, I hope that doesn’t cause any inconvenience.

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