Kid’s Shouldn’t Be Allowed in Costco
Shopping carts the size of small cars, 20 pound sacks of sugar, 10 gallon drums of tuna fish, six foot long pork loins, and fridges bigger than my apartment, Costco is more dangerous to children, then a Chinese toy factory.
And don’t get me wrong, I love Costco, but I believe that kids shouldn’t be allowed in it. And I’m not saying that because I have to compete with them at the free sample line. I’m just afraid, that I might actually kill one.
These little kids have no sense of self preservation. They fearlessly climb giant mountains of soda, play chicken with the Korean grocers, and use the fridges as the ultimate hide and seek location. And their parents don’t care. They’re just like me, constantly distracted by the buy one get eleven free deals.
Everyday, there’s a potential death just waiting to happen. And what’s to say that my 40 pound box of Tide won’t accidentally crush one of the little tikes? What then?
Sure I can just stop going to Costco, but I love it too much. After all, where else can you buy 400 rolls of toilet paper? I’d just like to do it without risking an involuntary manslaughter charge.
