Thank God Only Celebrities Get Away With Murder

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Drew Peterson was married four times. The first two wives alleged that he beat them, the third wife originally drowned in an inch of water, and the fourth wife vanished into thin air.

According to Drew Peterson, it was all just a set of odd coincidences. Thankfully, the state of Illinios didn’t see it that way and invoked the Doctrine of Chances.

The Doctrine of Chances is rarely used in the court of law, but it asks the simple question, “How can the same thing happen twice?” In the case of Drew Peterson, if one wife accidentally dies, it’s probably not likely that the next wife will suffer the same accidental fate.

And after exhuming the body of his third wife, Kathleen Savio, the coroner confirmed what everyone suspected and overturned the initial ruling and declared her death a homicide.

I don’t know, maybe Drew Peterson saw O.J. and Robert Blake’s trial on Court TV and thought that he could not only get away but also cash in on the media attention surrounding his wife’s disappearance. After all, he did offer himself up to a radio station for a “Win A Date with Drew Peterson Contest.”

I have to admit Drew, your plan almost worked but I guess you didn’t realize that only celebrities get off for murder.