Where is Juan Valdez?
Whatever happened to Juan Valdez? Did he get deported back to Colombia? Did his work visa expire? Or did he and his mule, Conchita finally figure out that there is more money in trafficking cocaine then there is in slinging cheap coffee beans?
These were all of the questions that I asked myself this morning as I hit the snooze button for the fifth time.
For nearly half a century Juan Valdez, known for his bouchy moustache, straw hat, and leather sacks filled with hand picked coffee beans has been an international trademark for 100% Colombian coffee. That is until Juan decided to retire.
But not to worry, if you are like me and you can’t wake up in the morning without an un-bathed Colombian farmer and his mule standing in your bedroom, there is good news. The National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia has recently chosen the new and improved Juan Valdez.
In a widly publicized passing of the poncho ceremony which occured this past October, a 38 year old farmer named Carlos Castaneda was selected to be the next Juan Valdez.
Castaneda, a third generation coffee grower with a seven acre farm and two cows was chosen after an elaborate reality TV search that involved competitors in a variety of games and tests that was more like a bizarre mash-up of Columbian Idol and Survivor.
Unfortunately, the old Juan couldn’t be reached to comment on his new successor, because he was at Starbucks sipping a venti skinny carmel mochiata and enjoying retirement.
