Stimulate This
If the government issued apologies this is what they would say:
I’m sorry that your house is worthless, your stocks are in the tank, we shipped your job overseas, and we started a war that turned your dollars into monopoly money, but here’s $1,200 I hope it helps.
And it’s not going to help because companies like Home Depot and Wal Mart are already lining up insuring customers that they don’t even need to cash their stimulus check at a bank, they can pay for their goods and services using the government check. Which would seem like a great convenience until you realize that they’re just going to take that money overseas and spend it on some toothless Chinese kid who makes Nike sneakers 24 hours a day, which will only increase our trade deficit, weakens the dollar, and if you thought gas was high now wait till it costs you $1,200 to fill up that tank.
Which is why I’m taking my check to the first Nevada brothel I can find. Because chances are the girl who dresses up as a little school girl and performs sexual favors for cash will take my money, buy some more meth and get so fucked up that she forgets that she has three kids in her trailer that she needs to feed, and she’ll take the rest of her money and blow it on cigarettes and jack and cokes, all of which are still made in America.
