Why Fat People Shouldn’t Wear Costumes
I love Halloween. Not so much because I like to dress up. It’s never been my thing. Fake wigs, plastic teeth, and capes aren’t for me. But that being said, Halloween is my favorite holiday because it’s the one time of the year where women everywhere find it completely acceptable to dress like whores.
From naughty nurses to slutty school girls every bar, house party, and night club will be flooded with girls in scantly clad outfits. I don’t know how or why the once family holiday became so perverse. But somehow it did. And it’s no longer about candy and trick or treating. It’s about sex. It’s about tapping into bedroom fantasies and putting them out for public display.
That’s why, Halloween isn’t for kids. It’s for adults.
Which is why, tonight I’m going to dress as a priest and I’m going to take confessions and hand out communion. Because among all those girls there must be one slutty school girl, who has sinned and needs forgiveness.
