Dear Landlord. . .
Dear Landlord,
It’s been three months since I first called you to let you know that the faucet in my shower was leaking. It still hasn’t been fixed.
I’ve been trying not to pay attention to it, but the bathroom is right next to my bedroom and that steady drip has turned into a steady stream of water.
I keep trying to imagine that I purchased one of those Zen water fountains that they sell at Wal-Mart. But in the middle of the night I wake up and find my dog in the tub drinking from the spout like it’s his own personal water fountain. Spiders also seem to like it. Apparently it’s a great place to breed because they’ve been spinning their webs around the faucet and multiplying. Which has made taking a shower very difficult because I was always a big fan of Charlotte’s Web. And I don’t want to kill the spiders if they are trying to communicate with me. So I’ve been showering at the gym.
Now I don’t know if you’re an enviromentalist, my assumption is that you’re not. But I thought you should know that it takes nine minutes and twenty-two seconds for that little leak to fill up an entire gallon of water. Which if you calculated that all the way out for the last three months, I’ve wasted 13 thousand gallons of water! And I don’t know if you’ve heard but Los Angeles is in a drought. And I’d hate to think that in some way I’m responsible for it.
Anyway, if you could just do me a favor and fix the leak, but please leave the spiders alone, I’d appreciate it.
Thank you.
-Apartment 9
