It’s Early, Please Don’t Blow-Up My Plane
Shirts, shoes, socks, 3 pairs of underwear, a toothbrush, deodorant, my cellphone, guns, dynamite, and c4 explosives.
It’s eight in the morning. I’m standing in the security line at the Long Beach Airport. It’s a small airport just outside Los Angeles. Long Beach is where you go when you don’t want to deal with the three hour long security lines that passengers face at the immensely large Los Angeles International Airport. Only two airlines fly in and out of Long Beach, Jetblue and American.
I’m flying on Jetblue. I’m going to New York.
I take off my shoes. Pull my laptop out of the case. Put my watch inside my bag. And ease the gray container tray down the conveyor belt.
I didn’t bring my gun. I left my C4 at home. The seven sticks of dynamite that I imagine I have aren’t packed in my bag.
They’re packed in someone else’s bag.
Last week alone, TSA confiscated 24 guns. 2 sticks of dynamite. And shut the airport down 12 times.
The troublesome list of TSA accomplishments is proudly on display for travelers.
I pass through the metal detector.
Maybe I shouldn’t fly today.
