Good news for holiday travelers, the turkey lanes are now open! President Bush announced last week that in order to ease airline congestion for the 24 million travelers this Thanksgiving, he’s expanding the holiday flight lanes to include military air corridors in the Midwest, Southwest, and West Coast.

Which is great because now when you rush to the airport and spend 17 hours waiting on a security line just to have some holiday hire TSA agent raid your bag, steal your Ipod, and molest your girlfriend, you can at least take comfort knowing that your flight time will take 15 minutes less.

Of course that doesn’t account for the fact that there are more flights that the airline can handle, and massive delays combined with limited airport seating will have you waiting on the floor next to some little kid whose entire definition of Purell is wiping their snot nosed hands on your jacket.

But hey, it’s Thanksgiving. Shit happens.

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