One More to Go. . .
365 days and I’m burned out. And I don’t know where that happened. I’m sure if I went back and read each observation, I could pin point the slide in my excitement that used to drive me to create new observations. But I don’t want to. I don’t need to. Maybe I’ll save that job for some future therapist who will take my money and pin point the problem for me.
The year took a toll on me, more than I was willing to admit on this site. The stresses of work consumed me. And the financial collapse created a massive erosion of my own personal wealth. But those aren’t things you talk about. Those are things that you keep quiet. Those are things that you confide with the people you trust. Who won’t judge you. Who will advice you. And guide you to make the right decision. Of course the problem is that the people you trust are talking to people they trust, who are then talking to people they trust, and the only answer that anybody has is that nobody knows anything and nobody has anyone they can trust.
So now, I’m just a guy sitting in his mother’s house, typing on her computer, trying to build a career that on most days doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. But that’s the problem with careers. They rarely feel like they’re going anywhere until you’ve actually gotten there. At least that’s what you hope.
And so you continue on because you know that if you quit and give up then there’s definitely no chance that the things you want to accomplish will ever happen.
Which in many ways is what this site represents. There were times I loved writing these observations and there were times I loathed it. Sometimes the responsibility of having to write far outweighed the process of actually writing.
But for the most part, I’ve kept at it everyday.
And I can’t say yet if I’m going to continue on, and write through the new year, but I will finish this year, and take every day after it as they come.
