I don’t know why President Bush and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad are not best friends.

After all, they both love oil, guns, and stripping away the fundamental rights of their citizens.

I bet that if they had gone to the same high school, they would have hit it off immediately. They’d have nicknames for each other like “Little Evil Doer” and “Big Fat Zionist Pig” and instead of joining the French club or the debate team, they’d join the spoiled kids chosen by god club.

And at lunch they could torture dissidents and terrorists, which in high school terminology is just another name for the weird goth kid who sits in the back of class painting his fingernails black.

And on the weekends they’d hang out ALL the time drinking big gulp slurpies while plotting out all the various ways in which they could rid the world of homosexuals.

I don’t know, it just seems a shame that they’re not friends considering that they’re both fighting a war in Iraq and have single handily run their national economies into the ground.

Oh well, there’s always heaven. . . .

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