Deodorant Gets You Laid
Bruce Campbell on the piano playing I’m Hungry like the Wolf, and five scantily dressed, sex craved girls ready to rip his clothes off, if you’re not following me it means you haven’t seen the latest Old Spice commercial.
For the 21st century man, deodarant is about mating calls and women ripping through walls to sleep with men. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the ads, really I do. My only question is when did deodorant become about getting laid?
Maybe I’m jealous of Bruce because I’ve tried Old Spice and I failed to notice an increase in my sex life, for that matter, I failed to notice a sex life. But if you wanted to be technical, deodarant actually covers up your phermones which are supposed to attract women. So in actuality, deodorant should not get you laid.
Now that being said, I know from experience there is nothing worse then being trapped on the plane, sitting next to some overweight, hairy guy, who hasn’t showered in three days, and smells like he just walked out of a homeless shelter. So whatever these deodorant companies need to do to get fat guys smelling fresh, well I’m on board.
But maybe that’s why fat guys don’t WEAR deodorant. They assume any sensible woman will be turned off by their plus sized waistline. Therefore, fat guys know the only shot they have of getting laid is ensuring every possible pheromone permeates through their 3 week unshowered skin, through their sweat soaked shirt and into the nostrils of unsuspecting women.
it’s true, women are actually wired to go crazy for our natural armpit smell- it’s a marketing trick to say that deodorant would do anything but cover that up. I agree about the really smelly guy, but if you don’t smell that bad, skip the deodorant, ohh I know, that’s just gross, like not showering every day– come on people, you’ve been taught to do that by people who are taking your money. It’s not about hygiene anymore, it’s about obsessively covering up our natural characteristics as human animals.