Facebook. Myspace. Twitter. I’m on picture overload. Every hour someone is changing their profile pic. And all of a sudden, I can’t keep up with every retarded girl with a camera that thinks that their wild night out at Benihanna is something that I want to see.

I want to see girls blowing coke in bathrooms, leading a gang bang at two in the morning, passing out drunk in a shopping cart, tearing each other’s hair out, or burrying their face in the bottom of a toiltet. But girls never seem to take those pics.

So I bought a camera. A nikon. It’s big. It’s fast. And it takes amazing pictures of really, really fat girls. Because if I can’t get the pic of the girl blowing coke at two in the morning, then at the very least, I want to show people something that they’ve never seen before. Fat girls in g-strings. Fat girls in lingerie. Fat girls covered in a double order of chili cheese fries.

After all, fat girls need love too.