It’s eight in the morning. The alarm on my clock has already gone off, twice. My dog stares at me from the floor. I don’t want to get out of bed. My head hurts. My body can’t move. My mouth feels like a dry desert wasteland after a nuclear holocaust. It’s Thursday morning and I’m hungover.

I have in my medicine cabinet an amalgamation of pharmaceutical pills all designed to make me feel better in one way or another, and yet there isn’t one single little white tablet that I can pop into the back of my mouth that will cure my hangover. And I don’t understand, “Why is there no cure for a hangover?”

I mean, seriously pharmaceutical companies spend billions of dollars creating pills for diseases people didn’t even know that they had like restless leg syndrome and social anxiety disorder and yet when it comes to the most common ailments like a cold or a hangover, they can’t seem to solve it.

And it doesn’t even seem like they’re trying to solve it. It’s almost as if they’re saying that I deserve this pain. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have been drinking last night. It’s a sin.

And right now I hate all pharmaceutical companies. They’re the reason I’m going to show up late to work. They’re the reason the reason I won’t be able to function today.

They’re the reason I’m going to need to drink at lunch just to feel better.

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