If I were a professional football player, baseball player, or basketball player, I would use steroids. In fact not only would I use them but also I would seek out every possible drug that could pass undetected in a randomized drug test. The reason is that the reward far exceeds the shame and humiliation if you get caught.

In 2006 Roger Clemens was paid 28 million dollars to play one season for the Yankees! In that same year Barry Bonds was paid 15 million just to hit homeruns. When put into perspective that’s a shit load of money to stick a needle in your ass.

Now of course, I’m not a professional athlete. I’m just a guy wearing a pink and white checkered button down shirt typing on his computer. I’m nobody. Which is why I would never take steroids. Because what’s the point?

But anabolic steroid use among non athletes is on the rise. And it’s not for professional reasons; it’s simply to look good. Like girls getting breast implants, guys are going on the juice to have bigger biceps.

It’s pathetic, superficial, and extremely unhealthy. And yet anytime I see a juiced up guy with a hot girl, I understand what it feels like for all the other professional athletes who aren’t on the juice and have to sit on the bench and watch Barry Bonds hit homeruns. They did everything right. They played by the rules. They’re not superstars. They don’t have the giant contracts. It’s not fair.

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