The weekends are about household chores, bargain hunting at the mall, stocking the fridge, and of course stalking your ex-girlfriend.

Let’s face it, life isn’t some cheesy Drew Barrymore movie where at the last minute your girlfriend runs through the door and confesses her undying love for you.

Life is complicated and unforgiving. And chances are if you’re like me who recently broke up, you wind up depressed, alone, and living in some distorted past that only makes sense to you.

Well now there’s great news! The Spy Store has slashed the prices on all their hi-tech surveillance gear. GPS tracking devices that were once $900 are now $500. Electronic listening and recording devices that used to be hundreds of dollars can be bought for a mere $79.99!

Finally, you don’t have to sit at home trapped by your own imagination. With just a click of the mouse you can listen to her conversations, watch her hook up with random men, and finally confirm that she’s truly the whore you always thought she was.

Of course, that’s the problem with the spy store; as much as you want to know every juicy detail, you’d be nothing but a shameless, pathetic loser if you did.

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