The Truth About Break-Ups
Every relationship starts with two strangers who know nothing about each other. And so you call each other twenty times a day, and you share secrets you swear you’ve never revealed to anyone else. Until you wake up one morning and each knows the other person better then they know themselves.
In my two years with my now ex-girlfriend, the constant communication became an integral part of my daily routine. To the point, that when we were not together, I slept with my phone on the night stand in case she called.
But now that we’re broken-up, the calls, the e-mails, and the instant messages have all stopped. And I’m left wondering, when did we get to that point?
When did we erect the wall in which we simply refused to speak?
And there in lies the truth about break-ups. In order to protect ourselves from further hurt, we close the door on our lover, and we lock out our best friend.
I know exactly how you feel. I was thinking that same thing. If i broke up with my boyfriend could i still possibly be his friend? I mean you must like someone well enough to date them, and once you break up it shouldn’t have to disappear. its like in this society its taboo to be friends with ex lovers.
After a series of very bad breakups and literally hating my exe’s somehow we gravitated towards each other once more and remembered what made us like each other in the first place. Now i’m good friends with all of them (although i don’t think their boyfriends aprove) and in them i find confidants. They are in reality my best friends… they know me better than any guy friend i’ve ever had, and i know they authentically care about me as i do about them. My advice to all, let time heal the wounds. There will come a time when you will be able to make amends and if you give it a chance you will once again have that all important person in your life. And this as much more than “just a girlfiend”.
i know the feeling. My ex cheated on me for over two months in a three month relationship. We had just started getting serious when all the preferable shit hit the fan, and she is now dating the guy she cheated on me with. So I guess that is why I closed the door, I didn’t want someone in my life who would be so willing to hurt someone like that. I am friends with some of my other ex’s, in which our relationship ended on good terms. Those are some of my closer friends, but any time a relationship ends on bad terms the friendship simply cannot exist.
My theory… Girls are crazy and men are stupid… as a result exes can’t be friends. Girls are nuts and jealous and catty. We expect you to know what we’re thinking and do the ‘right’ thing without telling you what that is… and men don’t get what the ‘right’ thing is, they think our jealousy and cattiness is lame (it is in all fairness), but at the end of the day the expectations of both parties are never met. I have tried staying friends with my ex — I was unsuccessful. I was too crazy and he was too stupid. Crazy and stupid don’t mix all that fabulously, if you ask me. But Dylan, if you happen to figure out a solution to the question of how to make it work, be sure to pass it along.