Trees Prevent Progress
I hate people who live in trees. They undoubtedly wear petroli oil, believe in a free Tibet, breast feed in public, and think that starbucks represents everything that is wrong with the world.
And I like Starbucks. I like the idea that I can get a triple grande latte on any street corner in the country because it represents progress. It represents the evolution of our species.
We went from hurling stones in caves and sacrificing our young to being able to grow enough coffee beans to keep the entire population of the world caffeinated.
Which is why the state of California should just chop down the 38 trees in Northern California where six protestors have been living since 2006.
The unemployed, granola eating, tree hugging, hippies who have nothing better to do climbed into the trees to protest University of California Berkley’s plan to cut down an oak grove containing 38 trees and build a $125 million sports training facility.
If George Washington could cut down a tree then so can California.
Who cares if we can’t get them out.
They’re against sports.
They’re against Starbucks.
And they’re against America.
Those nut cases bebopped down from Berkeley and invaded my school (UCSC) and hung out in our trees for a while. I don’t know what they were protesting, but I don’t think they liked Starbucks.