John McCain is the Republican Presidential nominee. Barack Obama is the Democratic Presidential nominee. I’m only stating the obvious because to many people it’s not so obvious.

And you know those people. You see them everyday they drive around town with the bumper sticker on their car that reads “GORE 08″ which makes no sense because Gore never even ran. Gore didn’t want to run. But these people can’t accept that.

And it’s not just Gore lovers that I hate. It’s the people who still have the “Vote For Dukakis” sticker on the back of their powder blue, broke-down Volvo station wagon. I mean seriously, it’s been twenty years and he didn’t win. Neither did Nader, Perot, or Goldwater.

Get over it.

So if you’re reading this and you have one of those bumper stickers then let me be the first to tell you that you’re what’s wrong with the world.

You say you want change, but the truth is you can’t change. You’re living in the past, bitter, depressed, and driving the same car for thirty years. Despite what you believe Dukakis wouldn’t have made your life any better because he wasn’t a replacement for the father who failed to hug you as a child.

So consider this your warning. If you don’t get rid of the stickers and I see you driving, I’m going to follow you to your home and slash your tires because I know you can’t afford new ones.

Have a nice day.

-dylan

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